Q: Will talking about what’s happening damage my child?
A: No, in fact, avoiding conversations all together often cause more harm long term. Children are astute and cognizant of changes in their environment and it can be assumed they have already picked up on changes in patter, schedules, or emotional presentation. Discussing the “why” of this will mitigate the risk that a child internalizes what’s occurring and believes they have done something wrong.
Q: How do I talk to my child about the corona virus? A: This will definitely depend on age, but paramount to that is ensuring that you as a caregiver are talking to your child while emotionally regulated. This time is very stressful but this communication should be a way to make your child feel safe which requires emotional regulation on your behalf.
Ages 2-4: Younger children discussions can be vague leaving out many details. Children at this age are very egocentric and will not express concern or worry for others outside. Address what has changed, while keeping the communication short and age appropriate. “Mommy is home more often now. Some people outside are not feeling well, so mommy is staying inside to stay healthy!”
Ages 5-7: Children will have a greater understanding of not only the change in pattern or routine, but also the potential implications for their ability to participate in activities they enjoy. Communication, again, should be short without excessive details. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we are staying in a lot more, and maybe you are missing [activity]. I miss that too. Right now a lot of people are getting sick, so we cannot do [activity] because we want to stay healthy so we can play and watch movies, etc. I’m sorry we can’t do [activity], but we can do [list three or four alternatives] what do you want to do?” Older children in this range may begin expressing concern for friends or other loved ones. Share the common humanity of the situation, emphasizing how many of your child’s friends/family members are doing the same social distancing to stay safe, etc. Create opportunities for your child to connect with loved one’s via skype, phone, etc.
Ages 8-12: Children at this age become more aware of the impact such a crisis may have on people outside of themselves. Conversations may become more specific to how others in the family, school, city, state and country are responding. Let your child lead this dialogue and only offer information that they are inquiring about. Create a sense of safety for your child by exploring what is in their control (hand washing, social distancing, being out of school, etc) and identify ways others are helping around us and ways you as a family can support neighbors. This could be as simple as making a rainbow art project and posting it in your window for those passing by to see, or donating goods and services.